Friday, February 22, 2013

Blue and Gold | a romance

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Thro' the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle embowers
The Lady of Shalott.
Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
Down to Tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers "Tis the Fairy
The Lady of Shalott." 
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
And sometimes thro' the mirror blue
The Knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.
The gown has been tucked away in my Great Grandmother's trunk for over two years now... waiting for me to take it out and finish.  When I first cut it out and started work on it, we were planning to hold some sort of big medieval party eminently... complete with an archery tournament, feasting, costumes and jollity.  But for one reason or another it never happened... life got in the way, plans were postponed, and at last the dress and all reason to wear it were tucked away and laid aside.

I opened up the trunk last month and pulled out the roll of blue crepe chiffon and embroidered gold tapestry, determined to make it wearable at last.
Because the time had come to wear the dress.  It was an Epoch, a rite of passage.

Even years before we were planning our fabulous medieval party, I promised myself I wouldn't cut my hair until I wore that dress to the celebration, no matter how long it took to plan.
The years flew by, and, always having worn my hair plain and long, it soon became the mane of fairytale dreams that I love so well.  A girl's hair is an enormous part of who she is.  A big part of her identity can be wrapped up in that glorious covering she wears, no matter how she wears it.

But it can also be, strangely, a burden.  I've felt so attached to my hair at times that it was almost like an obsession... I could't imagine myself without it.  I didn't know who I was without it.  

And I'm being melodramatic again.  But there's a place for that - at least in my world.  A life spiced with passion and a little pathos is so much more interesting!

I prayed about it for many, many, months.  I went deep down and examined my heart, and what God showed me there gave me the resolve to do what I didn't think I could do - but felt I must.

But before, there was something I had to finish.  
I had to have a photoshoot with my medieval gown.  
After all those years, I wasn't going to have any regrets... so I took that bundle of blue and gold and whipped them into the shape of a girlish dream.
The gold embroidered accents, the accessories, even the :ahem: back closure didn't quite make it to completion, but it was good enough.  We'll not go into technical details on this one, because frankly, it wouldn't sand the test;)
But it felt so right to slip, first, into the gold underdress, then into the draping overdress of fluid sleeves and sweeping train.  To toss my hair and feel like a little girl.  A little girl and a princess and a heroine.

It was with an air of finality that I took it off afterward and laid it back in GG's trunk.  The time had come to move on, making room in my heart to embrace how large and grand God's plans for us really are.  Feeling safe and comfortable, familiar with the rhythm of life around you can be a good thing, but once you discover how awesome it is to see dreams that are so big they terrify you become not possibilities, but realities, the comfort of the one pales next to the bravery and sheer joy of the other.

God is doing amazing things in my life - but what I learned this week was to start seeking after His best, not His safest.  You'd be surprised at how big the Creator of the universe can dream for us.  We just have to ask for the strength - to be brave.

And after all that, you've doubtless guessed my pertinent news.  I'll spare you the slight suspense till I have some pictures and say that I cut my hair.  
I have to admit I nearly cried while the deed was being done.  It was unimaginable, what I was doing.  I adored my long hair so much, and was so thankful for it.  But I'm so glad did it.  I love this new hair.  It's fun and fresh and so very free.  Free from fear of an unknown future.

I don't want to known as the girl with the long hair, or the girl who dreams of traveling or even the girl who loves making the world more beautiful.
I want to be a girl so deeply entwined with her Saviour that her identity is wrapped up in His, and nothing else.

And now I've rambled on long enough... but I just want to say;
It's going to be an amazing year.

P.S.  I apologize for being such a rubbishy hostess during these first few days of the Literary Heroine Blog Party!  You've all been so amazing, and I've been enjoying each blog link up, the favorite birthday memories, the new faces and the old ones so much!  I can't wait to visit each of you who've entered so far and discuss all the delicious details of each question...
There has been so much going on in my life this last week that I just had to step back and let things on the blog sink or swim, and not surprisingly, they seem to be doing just fine.  Here's to the best LHBP ever! ♥


  1. good gracious you are beautiful and look exactly like an elf. =) your hair... <3

  2. We're glad you waited. Your long hair is lovely in the photos. You really do look like Lady Shalot! But, dear Kellie! weren't ya COLD?!! Can't wait to see your new hair.

  3. So beautiful! It looks like it would be so much fun to wear! The location is prefect as well.

    I can't wait to see your new haircut! It's funny that we both finally cut our hair short at the same time. I'm sure it looks wonderful. :)

  4. Gulp. I did the same thing a month ago. My hair was to my hips and I took off 11 inches for Locks of Love. It was a hard thing to do (I am 51!) but I still have plenty to play with. You hair is the most beautiful I have ever seen! Dee

  5. Our hair DOES become such a part of us! I've been a Jo March and cried in bed on the night of having my hair cut before. It really does feel like losing part of our identity. But you're so right and I love so much that you apply our identity in Christ even to cutting your hair. This post was truly beautiful...and I suspect that the phrase "to start seeking after His best, not His safest" is going to be echoing in my head for awhile. I think I have some fears of my own to face! Thanks, Kellie-with-an-ie, for this post! You encourage me so much in your walk with Christ - it's so refreshing to read where God brings you and to know that there ARE other girls who really, honestly take following Christ in everything seriously. :)

  6. What a beautiful way to acknowledge a beloved part of your childhood before safely tucking it away in your Great Grandmother's trunk!!

    Here is also some thoughts on the subject of risk taking from Mark Twain.
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

  7. ooh, I know how it feels to be overly attached to your hair. lol... mine used to be below my lower back, and now it comes just under the shoulder blades.... how short did you cut it? It's always hard to see pretty hair go.

    I LOVE that dress! It looks a bit like the one Susan wears at the coronation in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

  8. The dress is gorgeous. I'm working on a similar dress, just for fun :) I can't wait till I've finished it!

  9. Majestic locks! I've been pining after long hair for a couple years now, and mine's getting there... and I also ponder my attachment to it. Since my early teens I've gone from extremely short (which I felt rather uncomfortable with after the fact), to past my shoulders, to chin length, and back again. I'd like to feel comfortable whatever I have attached to my head! :) I'm not a different person because I have different hair. Still working on that though... ;)

  10. Aww... pretty!!

    I can't wait to see pictures of your new cut- and here's to hoping your selling experience went smoothly! :D

  11. These photos are breathtaking! My sister has a dress that she made that is similar to this and I keep meaning to take her out in the woods for a photoshoot like this. Did you take all of the pictures?

    I can't wait to see you haircut!

  12. I've never gotten my hair truly cut, just trimmed. it's only down a tad past my waist, though -- not as long and thick as yours, alas. My husband won't hear of me cutting it, but who knows, maybe some day I'll chop off just enough to donate to Locks of Love. It'll grow back, after all. Can't wait to see your new 'do!

  13. I really loved this post, Kellie...the pictures are gorgeous, and yet I feel happy for you that you were able to surrender the treasure of your beautiful hair. God's blessings to you!

  14. There she weaves by night and day,
    A magic web, with colors gay.
    She has heard a whisper say,
    A curse is on her if she stay,
    To look down on Camelot.

    The Lady of Shallot is one of my favorite poems! I first heard the poem when it was recited by Anne Shirley in the Anne of Green Gables movie.
    The photoshoot is absolutely amazing! I wish I had been there, because I would have fought for a chance to wear that dress. LOL! I love, love, love medieval dresses, and civil war dresses, and WWII dresses, and well, historical fashion in general (and we'll leave it at that because I could go on and on about it).
    My curiosity has been excited and I'm afraid I shall be checking your blog or my e-mail everyday, twice or thrice even, until I have been satisfied in seeing you new haircut. Don't wait too long!
    God Bless,
    Purity Leigh

  15. I can't wait to see your new hair cut. I bet you feel so much lighter. I hope you saved some locks of it for your dearest friends.
    I cut mine off a while back. It wasn't nearly as long as yours, but it wasn't helping with my headaches. I was sad to cut it off, and my mom kept asking me "Are you sure you want me to do this?" But it had to go.


  16. *gasp* Kellie that is so beautiful! The dress... your hair... amazing... But even more is your desire to learn about the Lord and love Him more than anything else in your life.
    Many blessings!

  17. Everything about this post is lovely. The Lady of Shalott, blue and gold, and your ability to let go of your beautiful long hair. I can definitely sympathize with being a bit too obsessed with hair, and I think you were very brave to cut it off, after all that time.

    I can't wait to see your new style! It's going to be lovely and make me want to chop off my own hair (which even now is not even close to as long as yours was)...I just know it.

  18. This photoshoot is marvelous! Sometimes its good to let go of the old and welcome the new. I can't wait to see your new style!

  19. You finally finished it!! Congratulations! It's gorgeous! And your hair cut is adorable :). Love it. And we need to get together sometime very soon.

    ~ Love, Michelle

  20. Lovely, lovely pictures! That gown is truly awesome. I bet is was so fun running about in it.
    And your hair looks beautiful in these shots. What an excellent way to sort of 'save' that moment.

    I'm looking forward to seeing your short hair and I hope you love your new look.
    I have long hair myself and I think it was terribly brave of you to go a head and cut it. I get shudders...:D

    God Bless! And I can't wait to see some pictures.

  21. Hurrah! *Confetti* Congratulations on finishing your Medieval gown! You look like a painting by J.W. Waterhouse or E.B.Leighton...or Éowyn in her "Victory" Gown. :-)

    But I must admit to shedding a few tears for your gorgeous long hair and letting go of a dream. I'm glad you got to fulfill that dream to some extent and were able to pack it away with no regrets (and this all sounds a bit rubbish and cliché, but I hope my real meaning comes across). Thank you for sharing these beautiful pictures, and what God is teaching you at this point in your life.

    Like my fellow commenters, I'm curious to see your new 'do--but I know it will look fabulous!

    God bless you and keep drawing you near to Him, m'dear!

  22. Oh, my... you look so lovely. Your hair, your dress, everything. Yes, J. W. Waterhouse, Leighton, Eowyn and Merida from Brave! You remind me so much of her and seeing you in a blue and gold medieval dress with your curly hair down you look so much like her. And That's a HUGE compliment from me. =] I'm jealous. =]
    I confess, it gives me shivers to think of your beautiful hair being cut. But then, it is your head, and I'm sure you will still look so beautiful. =]
    Gorgeous pictures.
    Beautiful words. =]

    Emaline Rose

  23. Oh my, that dress is so beautiful and those pictures really captured the movement and shine of it all. I love it! So lovely :) I know what you mean about hair. I have very long hair- I can almost sit on it!- and I'd hate to cut it off. I am very attached to my hair.

  24. PS;

    if you ever feel like peeking in on my blog

    I'd love to hear from you! You are just awesome. No hurry and I'm not trying to be annoying, I just thought you might like to know.

  25. OH. MY. SOUL!!!! (um, yes...I just stole your line, Ally;)
    You look just like Rowena from Ivanhoe!!! Only 10 times more beautiful=)

    You know, in all honesty, I don't miss seeing your long hair. I LOVE your new style so much. And I'm so glad I was there with you when you got it cut...even if I missed the actually cutting part;) I couldn't imagine you with short hair, but's so you. :)

    I love you so much my friend,

  26. That dress is beautiful. And that hair, holy cow! You could have been in Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones with that stuff! Beautiful lady.
    Jillian -

  27. I linked to this post from my blog because I like what you said about wanting your identity being wrapped up in your Savior, not your hair or appearance or anything else- and how you acted on it. I hope you don't mind. ;)


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